Many of us are raised to think that we should be able to handle everything on our own, and that seeking an outside opinion is a sign of physical or moral weakness. I find in my work that the opposite is generally true. As humans we are resilient, even if we at times, feel and think we are not. Sometimes it might be hard to filter out all the “noise” from the environment and the many demands that life puts upon each of us. Many frustrating attempts to solve a problem may not have worked, leading to a sense of helplessness and bafflement as to why things always go so badly. Most of us want relief from pain be it physical or emotional. We want to be understood and desire that our relationships work effectively.

Generally therapy is sought after an upsetting event or crisis that challenges our existing coping skills or brings up overwhelming feelings and distress: An important relationship is in trouble, a divorce or death occurs, a child enters the teen years. A long standing problem with a drug or alcohol addiction may become too much to bear. Self-defeating behavior patterns may stand in our way. Old pain and trauma may resurface. A spouse or other family member may seem “out of control,” and a concerned family member might ask for guidance.

At other times, our biology seems to have turned on us, as hormonal, situational or other combinations of biological and situational events bring on feelings of depression, rage, worthlessness or persistent anxious and fearful feelings.

Therapy for many can help relationships work better, teach ways to handle powerful feelings, bring relief from addictive behaviors, increase self-esteem, relieve the wounds of old hurts and traumas, and improve coping skills.

Psychotherapy is both science and art. Finding the right therapist is important. Research shows that certain approaches can bring relief from pain, nurture self-acceptance, increase self-esteem, bring relief from anxiety and depression and help in the achievement of more effective relationships. Cognitive therapy for example examines beliefs in relationship to self, other and world.  When combined with stress management tools, including hypnosis and self-hypnosis, the approach can provide a particularly effective means of increasing self-worth, and bringing relief from the troubling symptoms of anxiety and depression.

In summary, for many people, the choice of getting therapy or coaching can lead to better coping skills and more satisfying relationships.